I wanted to be famous when I was a child; 

someone who was on tv.

Watching teenagers dance

on Saturday mornings,

absorbing countless episodes of

Star Trek after school,

committed to imaginary

friendships with characters

that fought evil and loved with gusto.

I didn't want to be a witness

my whole life,

but one of the bold ones.

I knew that what happened

inside that box

was only a sampling

of what could be.

But what happened on tv

did not help me figure out

how to live in my body,

navigate my mind, or choose the 

right path. 

I did not learn to listen

from that teacher,

nor did I learn to feel

connected 

until I turned the distraction

off.

The buzzing of silence

formed a question mark

that made me seek

something else.

What I have learned from 

peace

has taught me everything I needed to know.

The simplicity of watching

a hummingbird

gave me wonder;

the gratitude for a western river

has humbled me

and the dream of a full moon

reassured me.

But what changed me most

was time.