A Quiet Life

I do so many things the same way
day to day
and some might think I do this 
because I like routine.


But actually 
it's because I need to know where I am 
when my inner landscape changes
from desert to lush forest 
to mountaintop to coastline
as I follow the Muse~


It's comforting to have a structured life
when my emotional experience
carries me far and wide
in search of truth, 
in search of inspiration,
in search of love's meaning.


There will come a time
when my outer adventures 
match
my inner adventures,
but in the meantime I am grateful
for the chance to safely explore
the gift of personal
map making.

Haikus

Anticipation
distracts me from the present.
This moment, sunny.

Finding the center
of my busy seeking mind
must come back to breath.

Checking in, with heart~
Life can't be about the lists.
What inspires me now?

What I learn from my daughter

She is the gentle one
Who sometimes wishes she were a cat.

I want to tell her everything I have learned,
And she patiently listens
While I boisterously share.
She already knows more than I do,
But she would never say so.

The generosity of my daughter
Reminds me to pay attention
To what I’m really doing
When I “parent”~

Am I guiding? Comforting? Deciphering?
Is motherhood more about vulnerability
Than it is about strength?

When she was younger, my mission was clear:
Prepare her for the world.
But now the world does not seem
So easily defined.
How do I prepare her to live
Firmly planted in her own heart,
While journeying near and far?

How do I help her create a map
That will guide her way?

Prayer brings me back to my own heart,
And the sensitive places that
Ask only for recognition.

I am willing to admit I know little.
Gratitude fills in the gaps.

Haikus

The comforts of home?
Sometimes subtle, sometimes rich.
Centering my world.

To be a mother
Invites me to feel all things
with love at my core.

I embrace marriage
as the ultimate friendship~
joy's experiment.

Within every day
my connections hold the key
to fresh awareness.

Time makes me grateful
for every chance to embrace
and share a good laugh.

News of Others

News of others
changes the weather of my day.

I surrender once again
to the flow of
suggestion~

I no longer play
the "what if" game,
but there are times
when I want to play
the "if only" card~

The suffering of another
becomes real to me
as I consciously reach
toward a shared healing.

What does it mean
to believe in the power of
Love?

If only I really knew.

That is the daily lesson
of letting the news of others
bless me,
challenge me,
invite me to acknowledge our Oneness.

Even when I doubt our connection,
my heart knows
what's real.

In the Company of Trees

When I was a child,
my mother used to say
"Go outside and find someone to play with!"

Hesitation was replaced
by a secret hope
as I ran out the door
to the woods
behind our house.

Contemplation
while sitting on a log
filled my heart with green calm.
Surrounded by peers
at school all day,
I needed the quiet
of leafy meditation.

The sunlight streaking through
the trees spoke to me of other places,
other times.
I could listen to my heart
in the company of trees.

Remembrance

The kids had just gone back to school
and a perfect blue sky
refreshed my morning, until a phone call.

My mother said, "Please turn on the tv!"
after the usual greetings.
Was this a joke?

I saw the images
repeated again and again
of planes crashing.

Only one thought was clear to me;
go get the kids! Get them now!

Son 20 minutes away,
daughter just over the hill.
Husband in harms way, working
for the government in suburban Maryland...
I felt like a slinking cat,
suddenly aware of dangers
everywhere.

I got in my van and drove
without calling first.

I picked up my son,
I picked up my daughter,
and we waited at home.
Ten and five... no explanation
made sense to them.
It was a beautiful day,
and we were inside waiting.

Nothing made sense
but to wait until we were all gathered.
The silence was dreadful.